The Right Run for the Wrong Reasons

It would be dishonest to say I love running every time I go out. Some days I flat out don’t want to run and for no other reason, I do not run. And a lot of the time my runs suck. They start feeling awful, get slightly less crappy, but nonetheless, wrap up lousy. But I hit some post run routine stuff and move on. Having run for over 20 years you learn to absorb the ups and downs of running.

Then one day, it happened. I can’t tell you the day or the time or the run. But it happened.

I was out of gas. Like a driver stranded on the side of the road in the dark.

My shoes still got laced up. I was still out on my favorite paths, still running. Yet for the first time in my life, it felt like I was getting dragged behind an invisible tow truck to a destination I had not picked out.

I wasn’t running because I really wanted to or because I had some big training goal that required me to push through the monotony sometimes associated with ambition. The best way it could be described is an analogy from my time as a less than mediocre 1500m runner in college.

Some days, in a big meet, you get put in a heat that is above your pay grade. The whole time you warm up, the final run outs on the back stretch, you know ahead of time. This is going to be bad. If you were to PR by 5 seconds maybe you will be off the back by 2-3 seconds.

The front runners are going to run my 800 race pace the entire “metric mile”. Most of the runners will go out with them. If I go too, i’ll be toast with 500 to go. Truthfully, if my mind reflected the imaginary blue-collar I pretended to wear, it would be a great opportunity to ride that tow truck as long as possible and be proud of where ever that ended up. Likely a good result I could be proud of in the end.

But when you don’t want to be there, the race is over before it starts. When your goal isn’t the same as the guys in the race, when their purpose is to test the limit and you’re just…there. Yeah, that’s not good. You run toward the finish line because it’s the only exit from a room you do not want to inhabit.

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I started running occasionally as a habit in eighth grade. I kept running over the years because I enjoyed it. The challenge, the struggle, the feeling that I can actually do stuff that is hard. And eventually what was once hard, a 4 mile run, a mile run in under five minutes, a college cross country 8k, running every day for 18 months. training for AND completing a marathon, these became normalized and within my capacity.

I do hard stuff because most stuff worth doing is pretty hard sometimes. And as I became a better runner (relative to my beginning), somehow, in ways I’ll never understand but have spent my entire coaching career trying to convey, running contributed to me being a better, more complete version of myself.

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Social Media influencers. College coaching. Strava. I was in a heat with these guys, going some place I never really wanted to go, as slowly and painfully as you can possibly get there.

After over 20 years of running and 14 years of coaching, running became my way of proving something. To someone who wasn’t even watching. Or worse, didn’t even know I existed.

Why did I need to prove my way was better than social media famous runners even though I wasn’t one of them? Why did I need other coaches to think my balance of being an award winner and still finding time to run 30 miles a week, even in season (no one gasped) was impressive? Why did it bother me that relatively new runners were accomplishing “my running goals” (you know runners never have the same goals) because I was “sacrificing” for other people?

While I’m at it, embarrassingly, I even became jealous of dear friends who have successfully raised thousands of dollars for charity while also exponentially exploding into better runners and not surprisingly, inspired hundreds to join their cause.

Suddenly my easy runs were a frustratingly endless cycle of life sucking failures to relax. And of course when you’re in the wrong race the pace will always be too hot to hang on to.

One night, after suffering through a 45 minute “easy” run, I returned to the house and my wife asked me how it went. When I had to pause and admit it was crappy, it finally hit me. For the first time in 20 years of running, I didn’t want to admit it. Running was the worst.

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It’s not the worst anymore. In fact, it’s a lot better than a few months ago. And guess what, I’m in worse shape than I was in October when I ran the best 10-mile race time i’ve posted in 10 years. But who cares.

I look forward to running 4-5 times per week and hopefully my life allows to me to turn two decent years of running into a new 13.1 mile PR this summer. It’s definitely the race I should be running and I want to be there.

It’s honestly really cool if you have a ton of followers that are inspired by your passion and accomplishment. It increases my belief in God that people are able to raise a frigging mega-ton for charity using their running. And I am convinced it’s a good thing for our sport that so many “everyday” runners are using their personas to get freebies or product discounts.

But I put my experience out there knowing maybe a few people will relate and I can encourage them. It’s okay if running sucks right now. It’s okay if you don’t have 11.1k followers or raise $10k (but please do if you have that gift), or influence enough people to get discounts or free stuff.

I know I didn’t start or keep on running for any of those things. And I bet you didn’t either. You know hard stuff sucks sometimes. You know the difference between the normal struggles and when you’re simply in the wrong race. But you are the only one who gets to decide which race you’re running.

Be the runner you enjoy being. It may not be the fastest or easiest way to a better performance. Yet it is the surest way I’ve found to stay true to the sport itself and keep on running.

A right time to hold on and another to let go

The words of Lamentations as paraphrased by Eugene Peterson speak to my current life experiences. Earlier this week I finalized a decision that is very simply one of the most difficult choices I have ever made.

It is the time for me to hold on closely to my family and identity in Christ and to let go of a place and position that has been indescribably influential and formative in my life. I do not wish to speak any further about my personal situation as I am fine and this was a prayerful decision made by my family and I several months ago.

I only desire an attempt at the impossible task of thanking all the people who believed in me and supported me in my time at North Central University. I know some will be left out and I hope that does not imply that I love or appreciate you any less. To all current and former NCU athletics coaches, staff or student-athletes I am so very grateful for the times we shared together. To the athletes I’ve coached, I hope one day my son is blessed to be in a community of people as special and lovely as the ones you created on our teams. I can give you no greater compliment.

Finally, the text of my resignation letter:

November 26, 2018

After much prayer and seeking Godly counsel, and in consideration of recent changes to my position within the athletics department, I find it necessary and in the best interest of myself and family and the extended North Central University community that I submit my resignation from all professional responsibilities, upon completion of those duties in 2018.

Over the last 18 years it has been my great privilege to have been a part of the North Central Cross Country and Track & Field programs, as a student athlete, assistant and head coach. Outside of my wife and immediate family no group of people has been more influential in my life than my teammates, coaches and coworkers at North Central, many of whom are still of great impact in my daily life today.

It has been a beautiful experience working alongside athletes in the NCU cross country and track programs. These men and women of Christ-like spirit, great character, unparalleled work ethic and immense talent made it an honor to come to work each day. To have been trusted with the responsibility of guiding young people in stewardship of their athletic gifts while using those abilities to worship the Lord in spirit and truth is humbling beyond words. A debt of thankfulness is owed to each and every Ram I was fortunate to work with over the years. We accomplished so much together and, to me, you will always be far more than just a GPA number or one line on a results page.

I am forever grateful to my coach, mentor and friend, Greg Hayton along with former assistant athletic director Cedric Jones for launching my dream career in college athletics when they hired me as a student worker at NCU. Additional thanks to former Vice President of Student Development, Mike Nosser, who along with Coach Hayton, believed in me enough to make me the head coach at NCU in 2006. Thank you as well, to Greg Johnson for his support and leadership the last several years including the work that allowed us to host our first ever home meet, the 2015 UMAC Championships. I would also like to thank former supervisors, great friends and forever adopted family Michelle Sieh, Jon High and Jake Smith for their leadership and support along the way.

To the many other student-athletes across the rosters of different NCU sports teams I had the honor to support and cover as a sports information professional, I know the time and sacrifice you gave to our school. Aside from the many parents and family met over the years, I’ll always be your biggest fan.

A final thanks to Dr. Gordon Anderson and Scott Hagan for their support of athletics at North Central University.

God bless and GO RAMS!.

Trey Meadows

Additionally, Tim Austin, Dave Mowers, Tony Lehr, Bree Williamson, Kara Hurst, Catherine Winkelman, David Calhoun, Kelsey Daggett and Jimmy Hultengren, Brian & Sarah Lee, Matt Haskins and Jenny Hitchcock thank you for standing with me as we served student-athletes on the cross country and track teams.

Finally a huge thanks to several others I would like to thank who helped and encouraged me as I cared for the student-athletes at NCU. Fellow coaches and staff Kenny Flermoen, Steph Schmidt, Tim Beasley, Trent Emenecker, Megan Kaczmarek, George Carr, Andrew Cameron, Daved Lundeen, Lon Flippo, Paul Brunner, Justin Brown and Faith Ooms. And a very special thanks to the unique and important contributions of athletic trainers Amara Kelly Sing Pamperin, Karmen Voigt and Dr. Tom Smith, ATC.

Blessings to you all, and please consider the more excellent way this holiday season. Thanks for your time.

Lost thoughts from XC Season: Process Workouts

Coach: How did the workout go for you today?

Athlete: Well...I think it was...a process workout

In late August our team gathered for a week of preseason training camp. This was a quote from an athlete after an RPE based, fartlek-style workout late in the week. I've been simmering over that quote since that perfect summer morning on one of my favorite section of trails in the Twin Cities.

As a coach I am always interested in evaluating mental, physical and emotional preparation of cross country runners when we meet up in August. There are so many rabbit trails to chase with so many data points.

The bottom line remains: how ready are the troops for the final 12 weeks of very specific training that needs to be done head of championship race season in late October and early November.

The reality is: not every athlete is ready to do the types of things necessary for championship racing and there are more than simply physiological factors involved in that evaluation process.

So when that athlete offered that response to what was a very valuable assessment day for my evaluation process, I was struck by the simple and concise summary of our first true fast running workout of the year.

The workout was four days into our week and we'd had five running sessions, including a grossly disappointing 3k time trial (I literally discarded the results when I got back to the offfice) 48 hours prior.

It was a simple session:

• Standard dynamic stretching and form drills

• 10-15 minute progressively faster warm-up run

• sets of 300m on/off on a 600m loop

• On efforts at 1500m RPE, rep recovery at standard aerobic run pace, set recoveries at self-selected easy pace

• Goal ON distance at 3-4k

• No athlete watches, totally run by feel

• I ran a watch and pulled athletes based on any variance over 4 seconds or visual fatigue cues

• Ended with easy run to meet session total volume goal

As we begin track practices this winter the experience of this workout will inform how I guide the athletes through our workouts. But just as important will be allowing the work they do to inform them of the stage they are in within a process of personal development in every area as it relates to mental and physiological growth. 

In reality, every day is a process workout. The key will be coaching within that process and focusing on taking the right step each day to make that the most beneficial process possible.